Thailand has been labelled the land of smiles. True, if you're a balding
middle aged white man with an overhanging stomach, a few bucks in your
pocket and the desire for an Asian woman to cater to your every need.
They'll smile at you alright!
It's safe to assume, and indeed history tells us that it's true, that
foreign men provide young Thai women with money, clothes, gifts and
adoration in exchange for some very ordinary sex. Oh wait, perhaps
that's just me assuming now. My bad. At least the average sex would be
over quickly. Oh shit, there I go 'assuming' again.
What surprised me most about the young/old, white/Asian partnerships
everywhere in Thailand is just how unashamed it is. Seedy yes. But
honest.
It's a common sight. A group of suit pant wearing white guys walking
down the street with a gut full of beer, talking loudly and clearly
relinquishing being 'away' from wherever home is and acting young and
invincible. They could quite easily be mistaken for any bunch of blokes
on a Friday night in Manchester or Melbourne to the unknowing.
But the difference is this. Trailing these groups of men are young Thai
women, staggering around awkwardly in very high heeled shoes, wearing
minimal clothing, covered in heavy makeup and rock solid hairstyles. And
most noticeably. They stare at the ground.
And as they walk the streets searching for whatever destination -
probably the next bar or hotel room (wretch) - not one of the men or
women meet the eye. A sign that while the men and women are happy to
play the role of 'I don't give a flying fuck' - a part of them did
indeed give a fuck that flies. Inside they were ashamed to some degree. A
complete contradiction to the confident exterior portrayed.
Not all of the partnerships operated in such a flamboyant manner.
Several couples did seem legitimately interested in each other. But
again, something wasn't right about the match up. No one. Not one. Not a
single, random, accidental person in a young/old, Thai/white foreigner
partnership meets a passerby's gaze. And I tried...to the point where it
was getting ridiculously obvious. You'd swear the ground was made of
pure gold or something because that is where their eyes remained fixed!
It's an ugly stereotype, and unfortunate for legitimate interracial
couples caught under the mail-order umbrella, but it's undeniable that
exploitation is often at play. Western men, who perhaps weren't
appreciated by Western women for whatever reasons, are going elsewhere.
To a place where they are considered wealthy. The plus side is that they
can specify exactly what they want from a woman, come to a long or
short term arrangement, provide payments in exchange for it. Nice doing
business with you!
Other travellers agreed that this was an unpleasant and awkward sight.
Albeit a true part of the Thailand experience. But one particular Irish
girl didn't agree that it was always the white guy taking advantage of
the Thai girl.
She had been travelling a while and spoken with many Thai girls along
the way who had entered into these 'arrangements' with older (and
probably much heavier) foreign men. And these little gals said it was
them pulling the strings.
They believed they had entered into the perfect relationship. For
example. They were being paid frequently which made it a job. The men
were away from Thailand most of the time so they were free to live and
spend time with families, friends or other partners. And the sex was
often rarely required because of the little time their funder was
actually present. These little Thai queens played their part when
required, but most of the time they were left to be. Sly little
geniuses!
So who's exploiting who? I'm suddenly not so sure. Maybe there isn't any and it's a simple case and mutual using!
There was one - and only one - situation which made me queazy. And that
was in Chiang Mai where I watched a man sleazily grope a young Thai girl
no older than 11 years old in a bar. What disturbed me most is that her
mother, owner of the bar, was present and saw no problem with the
behaviour. He was Australian and probably aged mid 30's. Leaving
Melbourne International Airport there's a large sign at customs
reminding travellers that child sex abroad is still a criminal act in
Australia. Goes to show how common it must be.
One thing that should be noted is that these types of behaviour were not
openly common in Vietnam, Laos or Cambodia. If it's there, and
certainly it is, it is still underground behaviour. I wonder if it will
stay that way?
Best of luck to both sides playing the game!
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